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Do I get Browncoat points for doing this?

Humanoid Typhoon
Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6n1PMZ-TBs

NOTE: I don't own the characters, setting, or concept of this transcipt. I just did this for non-profit fun and because everyone else was too lazy to do it. Joss Whedon owns everything.

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[SCENE (INT): A plain room with a table and two chairs. A man (the COUNSELOR) sits off-screen with his back to the audience. We see his left arm resting on the table. After a moment he chokes, convulsing. He raises his arm to his chest, straining to pull something out: A bloody pen. He drops it onto the table--we can hear his breath rattling as he tries to get up. When he falls onto the floor, a young girl (RIVER TAM) appears from offscreen and lays a bloody hand on the camera. She stares, wide-eyed, directly at the audience.]

RIVER: (whispers) I can see you.

[Static]

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R. TAM: SESSION 1 EXCERPT
[The COUNSELOR still sits with his back to the audience, but now RIVER is sitting across the table. She is normal and happy, if a bit shy.]

COUNSELOR: And you like school?

RIVER: I do. (smiles) It's... Sometimes, things move a little slowly for me.

COUNSELOR: I imagine they do. What's your favorite subject?

RIVER: I'm finding physics a challenge.

COUNSELOR: You're in the... graduate program already.

RIVER: (sheepish) They call me little mouse.

COUNSELOR: Do you think they're jealous? Because you're so young?

RIVER: Volker is, a little. He plans to become very important.

COUNSELOR: Did he... tell you he was jealous?

RIVER: Oh, no. I just...

COUNSELOR: (matter-of-fact) You feel it.

RIVER: People tell you things all the time... without talking. The way they move... (chuckles) The way they aren't talking.

COUNSELOR: (laughs) You're very intuitive.

RIVER: Simon says I was born with a third eye. He hates when I can tell which girls he likes.

COUNSELOR: Your brother. He's a... doctor, right?

RIVER: He's a trauma surgeon. In Capital City.

COUNSELOR: Quite a family.

RIVER: (admiring) Simon's a genius. I could never do what he does.

COUNSELOR: I think you could do whatever you put your mind to. That's what the Alliance needs--it's what this institute's all about. Your mind. Letting it do everything it could. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?

RIVER: (ponders a moment, and looks to the left; then smiles) Would I still be allowed to dance?

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R. TAM: SESSION 22 EXCERPT
[RIVER is noticeably subdued, and hardly looks anywhere but down.]

COUNSELOR: But you understand why these treatments are important.

RIVER: (voice wavers) I don't think... I'm sorry. (begins again) I think there's been an error. I don't think... I think I may not be... the right subject for these--for this program.

COUNSELOR: It's perfectly natural to feel a little nervous--

RIVER: (bursts out) I just--if it were possible to be transferred, I would make a... I would like to request a transfer.

COUNSELOR: You want to be back in Gen. Ed?

RIVER: (whispers) Please.

COUNSELOR: You told us that was no good for you. It was too slow, that's why you're here.

RIVER: (looks down as he speaks) Please. It... (close to tears) hurts.

COUNSELOR: Well, I can help you with that. You know how proud Dr. Matthias is about how you're progressing--

RIVER: I'm not progressing.

[Brief static: Reenter later in the session--RIVER is gazing calmly at nothing.]

RIVER: It's the pax...

COUNSELOR: Tell me what you see.

RIVER: You lost the first one. You cut too deep, he died on the table. One of your attendants cried and you comforted her. "We're doing such good work."

COUNSELOR: Do you understand that that is true? The work we do is very important, and you're a part of that.

RIVER: (long pause as she looks down. Then, tearfully) I would like to see my brother.

COUNSELOR: Well, you can write to him and--

RIVER: (quietly urgent) I need to. I would like, please, to see him.

COUNSELOR: Well, I'm... sure he's very busy.

RIVER: (almost inaudible) Yes. Yes, I'm sure.

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R. TAM: SESSION 165 EXCERPT
[RIVER is pacing ceaselessly and babbling.]

RIVER: Yes, I have a system. You make an assumption because you had a system, you're s-system--you're symptomatic, it's chronic! You think it's benign, that it has to be cut out! This--system is simple. (smiles, motions as she speaks with growing fervor) Blanket folded thus as she pulls out the mattress. The mattress can't be trusted, it has to be gutted--I looked under twenty and found a pea, and you're wondering why I'm not sleeping? (laughs, then pauses and glares indignantly at the COUNSELOR) Are you worried that I cut up my mattress for no reason, and that I had a perfectly good reason that you can't see? Can't... see... Anyone. Even the orderlies wear masks.

COUNSELOR: (calmly) Why did you cut up your mattress?

[She looks at him as if he's deliberately trying to annoy her.]

RIVER: (slowly, carefully, angrily as she lays her hands on the table) I... am trying... to protect my spine.

COUNSELOR: Are you worried that you might be... injured? Your movement trainers have been giving you excellent marks--

RIVER: (urgently) No one will give me a mission!

COUNSELOR: A mission?

RIVER: I have a reason! I'm... rea-son-a-ble. (firmly) I have a reason.

[Static: Reenter to RIVER pacing again, with even more urgency.]

RIVER: My movement hasn't been dictated yet, but I am not here for nothing! I... am a... stick... s-sty. And you know I've been spied. There's something wrong... with the body politic.

[Static: Reenter to her screaming in pain as she writhes on the table.]

RIVER: They're sticking in me! It's in the mattress and it's crawling inside me! You cut it out! You cut it out! YOU CUT IT OUT!

[Static]

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R. TAM: SESSION 416 EXCERPT
[RIVER is facing the side as the COUNSELOR writes something down.]

COUNSELOR: You're very quiet today.

[RIVER slowly turns her head towards him.]

COUNSELOR: How did your session with Dr. Matthias go?

RIVER: (long pause; then, devoid of emotion) He gave me a mission.

COUNSELOR: Really? Did he... tell you your mission out loud, or did you just... hear it?

RIVER: He plays hide and seek with me.

COUNSELOR: Dr. Matthias?

RIVER: My brother. He's a doctor. He thinks he can find me, but... I'm deep down. And I do not make... a sound.

COUNSELOR: River, what mission did Dr. Matthias give you?

RIVER: (shakes her head, whispers) I can't tell you.

COUNSELOR: You can tell me anything, you know that.

RIVER: Can't... tell. (holds hand out) I'll have to write it down.

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